Monday, February 05, 2007
PCs Rule!
Charlie Brooker has a great article in today's Guardian: "I Hate Macs." He effectively reveals Mac lovers as the pretentious, elitist snobs that they are. Who can beat this quote?

I hate Macs. I have always hated Macs. I hate people who use Macs. I even hate people who don't use Macs but sometimes wish they did. Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults; computers for scaredy cats too nervous to learn how proper computers work; computers for people who earnestly believe in feng shui.

PCs are the ramshackle computers of the people. You can build your own from scratch, then customise it into oblivion. Sometimes you have to slap it to make it work properly, just like the Tardis (Doctor Who, incidentally, would definitely use a PC). PCs have charm; Macs ooze pretension. When I sit down to use a Mac, the first thing I think is, "I hate Macs", and then I think, "Why has this rubbish aspirational ornament only got one mouse button?" Losing that second mouse button feels like losing a limb. If the ads were really honest, Webb would be standing there with one arm, struggling to open a packet of peanuts while Mitchell effortlessly tore his apart with both hands. But then, if the ads were really honest, Webb would be dressed in unbelievably po-faced avant-garde clothing with a gigantic glowing apple on his back. And instead of conducting a proper conversation, he would be repeatedly congratulating himself for looking so cool, and banging on about how he was going to use his new laptop to write a novel, without ever getting round to doing it, like a mediocre idiot.

Cue 10 years of nasal bleating from Mac-likers who profess to like Macs not because they are fashionable, but because "they are just better". Mac owners often sneer that kind of defence back at you when you mock their silly, posturing contraptions, because in doing so, you have inadvertently put your finger on the dark fear haunting their feeble, quivering soul - that in some sense, they are a superficial semi-person assembled from packaging; an infinitely sad, second-rate replicant who doesn't really know what they are doing here, but feels vaguely significant and creative each time they gaze at their sleek designer machine. And the more deftly constructed and wittily argued their defence, the more terrified and wounded they secretly are.

(HT: Denny Burk)

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posted at 11:00 AM  
Comments (3)


3 Comments:
At 12:47 PM, Blogger Benjamin Cripps said...

Ouch, John. That really hurts. I am now the proud owner of two, count them two, macs, and I have to admit as a one time mac-hater, that the mac os really is a superior operating system over windows.
Try one for a period, John, and listen to that still, small voice - "come home, come hoommmee, ye who are weary come hooooommme."
Come on in, John, the water's fine.

 
At 7:26 PM, Blogger paul said...

I knew you'd be wrong about SOMETHING sooner or later! It's a relief to learn you're really human after all. :)

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger Benjamin Cripps said...

Not to gank your blog or anything, but you've got to admit that these ads are hilarious, yet true (Especially the Vista Security one!).

 

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